Just the best.

I don’t know if any of you will ever need this tip, but here we go:

Did you cat puke on the floor right before you had to leave for work so you just left it and then when you got home it was crusty and gross and stuck to said floor? 

Well, fear not. Just spray some Pledge on it and let it sit for a few minutes. Then, you will be able to wipe it right up.

Also note though that Pledge will make your floors really shiny and super slippery. So it’s a trade off: no cat puke, possibly slipping and dying.

Jersey Shore Gone Wilde

Rewatched these and they are never not funny.

*Also slightly obsessed with Santino Fontana. Will not apologize.*

When I was in 8th grade, I used to wear something like this this mesh poncho (but in white).

I thought I was so damn cool that when I found out my mom donated this to Goodwill, I cried. A LOT.

MEMORIES. ALL ALONE IN THE MOONLIGHT. 

Shit got fancy up in here! 

*Also, there are a ton of spices in this dish. I don’t know my parents had all of them, but if you don’t, I think you will still be fine. Just spice to taste.*

Baked Samosas With Potatoes and Peas

NOTE: MAKES AROUND 24 WRAPPERS!!!!!!

Ingredients:

• 4 medium potatoes
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1/2 an onion, finely chopped
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1 tsp Red Chili powder
• 1/2 tsp Cumin Powder
• 1 tsp Chat masala or Curry powder
• 1/2 tsp Dry mango powder / Amchur
• 1/4 tsp Garam masala
• 1/2 tsp Turmeric powder
• 1/2 tsp Cumin
• Wonton Wrappers (found in a supermarket)
• Water

Instructions:

1. Make mashed potatoes: peel potatoes, cover with water, put pot on stove and boil until potatoes are soft. Drain water, but leave around half a cup. Mash the potatoes and add the water to make them fluffier. Set aside.
2. Heat onions and garlic in a pan with oil until translucent. Add peas and potatoes. Add all of the spices and cook for a few minutes. Set aside to cool a little.
3. Preheat oven to 350. 
4. Add about a tablespoon of filling to the wonton wrapper. Wet the edges and fold into a triangle (the original recipe tried to get me to do something fancy, but I said “No way, Jose. Triangles will do for me). Line up on baking sheet, making sure the edges are well closed.
5. Bake for 15(ish) minutes until the wrappers are golden brown. 
6. Enjoy. YUM YUM.

The New York Times: In Performance- Ten Minutes Ago

This song still makes me feel all of the feelings.

Saving Bob

I love two things about this: 1) that the simulator only let’s you use one hand to do a heart transplant and 2) just this guy.

The first swear word I ever heard in a song was in “Play” by Jennifer Lopez. Half way through, she tells the DJ to play her “motherfucking song.” I was 11 when that song came out and every single time I listened to it, I would turn the volume down just during that part.

Today, that song came up on shuffle and I felt myself cringe when that part came on. 

Oh, visceral childhood memories. How you taunt me so.

Major talent crush on this one.

Recently, I worked with a high school senior. He spilled some real wisdom on me.

*****

Him: Yeah, it sucks when people start to cry at prom.

Me: Yeah, totally. It’s like, prom is supposed to be fun!

Him: Well, nothing is supposed to be anything.

*****