Puns are the greatest. These are the greatest. Ate the whole damn bag.
There is a missing cat in our neighborhood.
So my mom and I were going for a walk and we saw the sign. And I read it a little bit closer and realized that the cat’s name was “Fatty.” The second I said his name out loud, we heard a meow.
We said his name again and again a meow coming from the bushy area near us. My mom and I started to investigate and pretty soon, we were on our hands and knees saying “fatty” over and over in an attempt to find this very nice cat.
And then I spotted him. Sitting on the window sill of the basement apartment near the bushes, meowing at us from the warmth of his house, INSIDE all safe and sound.
We did it. We found Fatty (or a cat who looked just like him and responded to his name). So if anyone needs us, we will be on Season 2 of True Detective.
Today I spent 45 minutes convincing one of my co-workers that this man was in fact a potato-mining tycoon. All because I clearly I can read very, very well.
How does one mine potatoes? It’s “Lite Mining” I told her. Only a few feet down. And worth all 9 billion.
Dad: Have you seen the salt?
Me: Yeah, I just used it and put it back on the table…
Mom: Well it isn’t here so where else could you have put it? Did you maybe stick it in the fridge?
Me: That is insane. If I put it in the fridge that would be the ultimate sign that I have lost my mind.
I open the fridge. The salt is on the top shelf.
Dad: I think that laugh might be a sign that you have lost your mind.