Lina's Choice.

I Like Tips

Thu, 23 May 2013 17:00:33 -0400

When crossing a horrible intersection, if at all possible, position yourself next to a child.

No, not for creeper reasons but because drivers care more about children than they do about unemployed millennial.

I Like Meatless Meat Madness (Part "I'm Back")

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:00:20 -0400

I tried a new veggie patty because I felt adventurous. Some people sky dive. I tried new veggie patties. We are who we are.

Franklin Farms Portabella Fresh Veggiburger

I was intrigued by the idea of a veggie burger made mostly out of veggies (and not tofu), the “fresh” aspect, and the clear case. I was slightly worried that them being fresh meant that they would spoil more quickly, but the case said you would freeze them, which I did.

I also will say that the burgers were kind of crumbly probably because they were made out of veggies and not the tofu, but they cooked well and tasted pretty good. They tasted even better with honey mustard on them.*

Final Rating: 4 Stars (out of 5)

*Maybe I should just start reviewing condiments because I think I love those so much more than I love the burgers.*

I Like This Conversation With My Mom

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:00:33 -0400

******

Mom: I had a really weird dream last night.

Me: Oh, yeah?

Mom: Yeah. I had a dream that I met a vet and she said that the best way to make Tima (our cat) stop meowing at night was to give him wine.

Me: …. did she specify what kind? A nice white? Or a red?

Mom: Hmm, she was not specific.

*******

Dreams, you say?

I Like Writing About Funny People (Jerrod Carmichael Edition)

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:28:49 -0400

I Like Writing About Funny People (Jerrod Carmichael Edition):

In which Jerrod’s talent leaves my mind blooooowwwwn.

I Like Recipes

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:00:35 -0400

Sups easy pasta salad recipe, here we come.

Caesar Pasta Salad

Ingredients:

Half a box of farfalle pasta (the bow ties!)
1/2 a lime
1/4 cup parmesan or asiago cheese
3 tbsp light mayo
3 tbsp EVOO
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 pint of grape tomatoes, halved
1 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup basil, chopped

Instruction:

Cook pasta. About 2 minutes before it is done, throw in the peas and let them cook together. Drain.
Make dressing: juice the lime, whisk in cheese, mayo, EVOO, garlic, salt and pepper.
Add tomatoes to peas and pasta. Top with dressing and more cheese.
Eat it up. Eat it all up.

I Like Advice

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:35:11 -0400

Listen, I clearly don’t have everything figured out, but I will offer unsolicited advice for all soon-to-be college grads because this is Lina’s choice and I do what I want.

So here we go.

Be kind to yourself.
You literally have the rest of your life to figure it out. You’re not in college anymore which is scary, but life no longer revolve around a four year time period. If you don’t have shit figure out in four years, who cares? You have four more years and four more year and four more years.
You only experience regret with hindsight and who fucking needs hindsight? Fuck that shit. Learn your lesson and move on.
Figuring out what you don’t want to do is just as important as figuring what you do want to do. (Do do).
Internships are great and fine, but they usually don’t pay you, so if they treat you like shit, LEAVE.
No, seriously. You deserve better.
When life gets shitty, try to do at least one thing every day that makes you happy whether that be watching an episode of “Scandal” or eating ten cookies or listening to *NSYNC, do it.
It will all be okay. Or at least that’s what my therapist says and I am blindly choosing to agree with her.

ZZ Ward- Put The Gun Down Well I like this very much.

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:00:28 -0400

ZZ Ward- Put The Gun Down

Well I like this very much.

I Like Metaphors

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:00:33 -0400

Here’s where I am in life right now.

I know my thesis statement, but I don’t have any of the sources that I want and I can’t tell if I am just not researching properly or if I need to hit up some other library, possibly in New York or LA or god knows where or if the sources don’t actually exist at all.

I just really want to write this paper, guys because I really, really love my thesis. I really, really do.

I Like This Conversation With A Customer

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:00:28 -0400

I think “conversation” may be too strong a word.

*****

Customer: Hi, am I going crazy or was there fruit around here?

Me: …. Uh….

Customer: Like five hours or so ago?

Me: ……..

Customer: This guy was selling 99 cent strawberries.

Me: …. maybe you mean the farmer’s market?

Customer: No, it’s not the farmer’s market! God.

*****

I. Hate. Everything. About. How. Stoli. Decided. To. Name....

Wed, 15 May 2013 17:00:37 -0400

I. Hate. Everything. About. How. Stoli. Decided. To. Name. Their. Flavors.

This is NOT how the names translate to Russian (except the previously named Peach Vodka. Perski is the English spelled version of the Russian word for peach).
Just because you added some “i’s” does not make it more exotic or Russian for whatever. It makes you look dumb.
Sticki? STICKI? Ugh, gross.
Lolololol, that someone decided to put what the flavors are supposed to be in parentheses on the side as if people couldn’t tell that Chocolat Kokonut is.
Gala Applik? Applik. Go fuck yourselves.

The Beyonce Medley- Cameron J GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. guys guys guys...

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:00:37 -0400

The Beyonce Medley- Cameron J

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. guys guys guys guys guys guys. GUYS

I Like Writing About Funny People (Kurt Braunohler Edition)

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:48:11 -0400

I Like Writing About Funny People (Kurt Braunohler Edition):

I got a big ol’ comedy boner for Kurt.

I Like Recipes

Sun, 12 May 2013 17:00:30 -0400

Man, farro is da bomb. (You can quote me on that, but you must put it in literal quotes i.e. “farro is da [sic] bomb” said Lina).

Farro Salad with Feta and Veggies

Ingredients:

Salad

6 (ish) ounces of farro
1/2 a bundle of asparagus
1 cup peas
1 cup grape tomatoes
1/2 a small bundle of dill
1/3 cup (or more) feta cheese

Dressing

1/2 lime, squeezed
1/3 cup EVOO
Salt, pepper and garlic powder

Instructions:

Make dressing. I used a glass jar and got to shake it all together. Super easy though it makes for some shitty clean up.
Cook farro according to directions, but leave it a tad al dente.
Place farro in large bowl and pour dressing on it NOW.
Cook asparagus. I just put a bunch of water in a pan, boil the water, add the cut asparagus and just let it simmer for 4-ish minutes. Add asparagus to farro.
Cut tomatoes. Add to farro.
Prepare peas: either open a can or cook some frozen peas. I cooked my frozen peas by just adding them to the farro while it was cooking for the last 3 minutes.
Add chopped dill.
Add feta.
EAT YO FACE OFF.

A few things about this commercial: From the opening scene and...

Sat, 11 May 2013 17:00:33 -0400

A few things about this commercial:

From the opening scene and the whole “feed your better” concept, I did not expect this commercial to be about bread.
This lady wears a whole lot of silk blouses (both for work and for play).
Who holds their basket like that? Oh, right someone who has a camera in front of them.
DAMN LADY, YOU HAVE A VERY BREAD BASED DIET.

I Like Discoveries

Fri, 10 May 2013 17:00:31 -0400

You know, sometimes you find out things about yourself you didn’t know.

For example, I had no clue that the smell of wet cat food makes me want to die.*

And who knew that I can’t listen to my neighbor play “Frarajaca” on a flute for one hour straight every day from 3pm to 4pm without going insane.

You just don’t know these things until you have to.

*Why am I interacting with wet cat food? BECAUSE I HAVE TO CLEAN MY CAT’S FOOD BOWL YOU WEIRDOS.

I Like Rants

Thu, 09 May 2013 17:00:36 -0400

Dear People Of The Universe,

Here are some tips on how to efficiently buy tickets at a box office.

Treat me with respect and I will be nice to you. Just because I work in customer service does not mean you can treat me like shit.
Do not take out your aggression on me. I did not set the prices, I am just the messenger. Also, if you are not pleased with what we are offering, do not buy the tickets. Super simple. No need to make a scene.
Do not hand me your credit card until you ask me ALL of your questions. Seriously, if you want to know where your seats are, make sure I haven’t swiped your card.
Have an opinion. Listening to people make passive aggressive plans is one of my least favorite things in the WOOOOOORLD. I don’t need to know about you and your non-communicative relationship and I especially don’t need to be a part of you not making efficient plans.
If possible, do some research because there is only so much I can know about all of the show. I especially have no read or memorized all of the reviews. Sorry, my brain only has so much space.
DO NOT ASK ME WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND because it really depends on what you want to see. All of the shows are super different and I don’t know you. If you give me nothing to work with, I will recommend that you see Blue Man Group.
Oh and on that note, don’t ask me to describe what Blue Man Group is. I can’t. No one can.
Don’t make me talk to your wife on the phone. I am as afraid of her as you are.
Check your ticket and your receipt before walking away from the booth.

I Like Memories

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:00:39 -0400

I just remembered that when I was 12 years old, I owned a shirt that had two glittery hand prints on the breast area and read “Hands Off!”

I do not remember how I acquired said shirt, but I do remember that my parents found it really amusing.

I also wore it to a Bar Mitzvah.

The price breakdown for the Boston Symphony Orchestra is bat...

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:00:15 -0400

The price breakdown for the Boston Symphony Orchestra is bat shit insane and I will never not find it funny.

*Also, great choice on using poop brown to represent anything.*

I Like Writing About Funny People (Moshe Kasher Edition)

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:27:49 -0400

I Like Writing About Funny People (Moshe Kasher Edition):

Let’s all agree that Moshe is real funny.

I Like Lists

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:00:26 -0400

Things That I Have Said to My Cat This Past Week

You can’t have cream cheese for every meal!
You smell like a mix of cat food and death.
No, don’t vomit in this room!
No, don’t vomit in this room either!
Stop drinking that toilet water.
I’m gonna hug you forever!
Ugh, we’re out of gouda.
Sha! Sha! Sha!
You’re my best friend.